Josh (@jphunsucker), Kelly (@Kellyliz1321), and Becky (@Becky_Diel - Instagram) hand out roses and thorns, discuss important things like love gurus, weigh in on whether Britt and Kelsey are full of it, and update their fantasy suite predictions.
Check it out here : http://section925blog.podomatic.com/entry/2015-02-02T23_22_57-08_00
Or on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/section-925s-podcast/id554906376?mt=2&uo=4
Josh (@jphunsucker), Kelly (@KellyLiz1321), and Becky (@Becky_Diel on Instagram) forgo their individual couches and stay together in the in the Section 925 fantasy suite. They discuss who won and who lost this weeks episode by handing out roses and thorns, explain why Jimmy Kimmel is the pinnacle of corporate synergy, debunk what a Costco trip is really like, investigate why Bachelor Chris "can't talk good," praise self aware non-kissing, rule on whether the "Amazing Jar" is filled with contestant money, answer a text question from @TheRealReno about censorship, and entertain other uber important worldly topics.
Click to listen: http://section925blog.podomatic.com/entry/2015-01-20T00_39_06-08_00
(or search "Section 925" on iTunes)
Josh (@jphunsucker) takes Kelly (@KellyLiz1321) and Becky (@Becky_Diel) into the Section 925 fantasy suite to talk all things Bachelor. Is Britt a Hollywood plant or genuine Bachelor contestant? Did Mylie Cyrus and Kelly Kapowski have a baby named Britt 20-something years ago? What are the girls names again? Why does Chris skip leg day at the gym. Can you have a deep-V "zip-up-the-middle” hooded sweatshirt? Why does the Bachelor insist on being so incestuous? Why is Ashley S so hated/loved and is she on or off medication. Plus more answers to questions that don’t matter.
Click to listen... http://section925blog.podomatic.com/entry/2015-01-13T08_27_46-08_00
Live from The Oasis in San Francisco, The Section 925 #BachelorPod is back with all the hard hitting action from The #Lorette. @TheRealReno plays host to long time listeners/first time callers @AnnaKThor, and Sarah Starling (Facebook account only), as they pass harsh judgement on Des's hometown dates, and the cattiest Men Tell All ever, Justin Beiber, and the state of Texas #Romo
Listen Here: http://section925blog.podomatic.com/entry/2013-07-25T10_07_05-07_00
The Section 925 #BachelorPod returns for Desiree's season. Through 4 weeks, Dez has started separating the wheat from the chaff and now has a solid group of characters trying to #SurviveAndAdvance. @kpluswax hosts @liztomania12, @mgrebby and a shitload of #SauvBlanc from an undisclosed location in Gotham.
Listen here: http://section925blog.podomatic.com/entry/2013-06-20T11_00_41-07_00
Section 925's West Coast Bachelor Pod team breaks down "The Women Tell All" and Preview the Bachelor Finale.
Check it out here or on iTunes.
by Kevin (@kpluswax) and Brendan (@the_real_borw)
For the final two Section 925 Bachelor Pods of the season, we decided to have the 415 crew discuss the semi-final, with 212 closing out the season after the final rose. However, we had to decide who would cover the Women Tell All (#WTA) episode in the middle. Hosts Kevin (212) and Brendan (415) thought it made sense to split up the contestants: half will be covered on the 415 pod, half on the 212 pod. The only civil way to pick teams, obviously, is to have a good old fashioned draft. The rules are simple: you can only discuss (at length) those women drafted to your team. Rule number two: Chris Harrison is All Time QB so both pods get to discuss him. Here’s how the action unfolded via email:
Basic StrategyKevin: I think the strategy here is to grab best available early and hope to catch lightning in a bottle later. The top of this draft class has a good 3-6 camera-and-America-at-large-friendly gals, but then again how long is this episode? Are they all going to get that much time? Is there enough film to go around? I'm going to think long and hard before using a top pick on an introvert or someone who is really butthurt and may not be willing to talk about it on air.
In later rounds I think you look for a couple things: a) Girls with an axe to grind. Come clean vs. a certain girl? Call out Sean for something weird? Complain about how hard it is? (think Jenna the NY Blogger) b) Girls who love booze (Blakeley) c) Those who want to join the Bachelor Pad crew, so they are here to make a splash (think Guard And Protect Your Heart) d) Girls who felt slighted and misrepresented so want to set the record straight no matter what question Chris asks (Michelle Money) e) Unfortunately this isn't usually the case for Women Tell All as much as it is for Men Tell All, but the guy who's in LA and just wants to get it in before returning to his pathetic real life. There is a live studio audience of 23-29 year old girls behind you hanging on every word because you're "famous". (Think Craig from Allie's season)
Brendan: Assembling a WTA squad is much like assembling a band, you need all the components to mix fluidly to produce sweet baby-makin' music. Too much lead vocal and you're Skid Row, too much hair and you're Warrant, too much cocaine and you're a creepy old Neil Diamond in a baby blue suit singing about cars as they drive by. (Puts on Lou Pearlman shades).
THE DRAFT
#1 Pick, Team 415
Brendan:AshLee. Our lead singer and centerpiece of the band. Bringing vocals fit with a fury of rage that haven’t been seen since Joan Jett. Added bonus that DEATH-STARE LASERS will be shooting from her eyes for visual effects. I can't think of a better walk off performance than hers in Thailand. All the emotion throughout the season, the emotional video she can't even finish. Then what do we get as an encore? COLD BLOOD.
Kevin: *cough* Sam Bowie *cough* She has all the measurables for a top pick: emotional exit, America's support, WIDE open wounds still, potential for full-court press Bachelorette campaign, the list goes on really. But I just don't know. Something about that exit leaves me worried about her mental state for WTA. I'm not sure if shes ready to open back up, even for Chris Harrison. Stop me if you've heard this before but Ash......Lee has abandonment issues. Unlikely, but could be a dud.
#2 Pick, Team 212
Kevin:Desiree: This is a no brainer and I honestly can't believe she fell to us. Team 415 made the same mistake that Sean has made all season: they took Dez for granted and didn't realize it until she was already gone forever. She'll be a great anchor to our squad because a) she's a babe #banginbangs and @liztomania12 and @mgrebby could fill a whole pod talking about her outfits; b) she will be all over the broadcast- I think she gets at least a full segment in the hot seat, if not more; c) she is very low "no show" risk because she lives in LA; and d) I can't wait to hear her throw her maniac brother under the bus. She may even get catty with some of the other chicks- we saw her hating on Amanda at times and I think she resented Kacie B.
Brendan: Looks like we're going to have to put a shock collar on Devin to go off every time Dez is mentioned. Dude is gonna have worse hair than Kacie B. by the end of the podcast. 415 is more than happy to pass Dez's remains to 212. We covered the historic Hometown fail and rubbed salt in the wounds when Steph beat her in the "Who Wore It Best" poll.
#3 Pick, Team 415
Brendan: Tierra. Sure, she showed up out of shape for the combine, scored low on the wonderlic test, and displayed a Tierrable vertical leap jumping into the freezing water in Canada, but by-golly does she come to play when the lights come on. She's going to be in the the thick of the cattiness throughout the program and there will no doubt be a tremendous montage of her antics from the season. We also get to cover her recent engagement, which could very well be a divorce by now. Also, clear front runner for "Most likely to parlay her act on the show to a pathetic one-and-done reality show." She's the Animal from the Muppets in our band. Tries to be the center of attention by overcompensating with dramatics and flair, which always leads to a blow up (in this case, a drum set blowing up). Compelling theatre.
Kevin: I meant to mention this a long time ago, but I knew Tierra was trouble when she walked in. That being said, insanely good value at 3. Strong pick. Looked at her with the two spot but decided to go chalk with Dez for obvious reasons. It was pretty simple, this is a podcast draft and talking about Dez makes me happy, whereas talking about Tierra makes me frustrated and sad. Judges, does the Tierra pick include her fiancé? If there was ever a contestant to bring his/her fiancé on WTA/MTA it's Tierra. Credit to @jphunsucker: if she were to have a reality show, it would be called "Toddlers and Tierra" where she would teach little girls how to maintain their sparkle. She'll get good burn and hopefully start some beef. Safe pick. Good value.
#4 Pick, Team 212
Kevin:Lesley, much to the chagrin of Wright brothers everywhere. There's a real no-show risk here if she decided to get her life back on track and resume her I-swear-its-not-a-BS-job political consultant job. However, if I know Lesley, I think she's making a push to be the next Bachelorette. She left a ton of room for improvement (open up/show emotion/tough nut to crack/blah blah) on the table on her last few dates so ABC has to be swooning over and the Ben F-esque metamorphosis potential for next season. If she's making that push, she could easily have top pick potential. Then again, those same signs that point to "leaving room for improvement to be on Bachelorette" could also mean "I actually don't even like Sean that much", so I suppose its possible that she just shows up, looks good and parties in LA with her bestiez.
Brendan: If it's just street-clothes-Lesley, I’m fine with taking a pass for most of the reasons you mentioned above. She was way "too close to the vest" all season and either a) let the camera get the better of her or b) really didn't have any connection with Sean. Agree that she is in the running for potential Bachelorette (415 will cover this in greater detail on the podcast) as she walks the same line as Emily, room for growth and cult-like following. Now if it is Lesley-IN-A-BIKINI (?!!!). I’d go Ricky Williams and throw all our picks at you just for her.
Pick #5, Team 415
Brendan: Picking Sarah and relieving @mgrebby at the same time. We need some emotional balance on our team as we already have two crazies in the starting lineup. She's going to get a ton of time about the heartbreak of finding a guy with her disfigurement (please tell me that was PC). On the other hand (please tell me that was PC), she was heartbroken and thoroughly embarrassed when being sent home, so she has some potential of no-show here, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
She's also, of course, the drummer in our Def Leppard tribute band/Comedy Troupe "Foolin'"
Kevin: You know I would have wanted Sarah on my squad, but you hit the nail on the head. My guests would have been walking on eggshells for 45-50 minutes with her looming. For the listeners sake, good pick. Also a shrewd move from 415. She'll get camera time after her gut wrenching exit, I can promise that. All Time Q Chris Harrison was put on this earth for the "lets get serious, put aside personal vendettas and talk to America's sweetheart" segments. Not sure if its more than 3-5 minutes but it'll be good TV. Worried about @TheRealReno and @HerroSteph here. Keep that mute button close.
On Lesley, she will likely be in a cocktail dress, so I assume your "Noah's-Ark-two-of-everything-for-Lesley-In-A-Bikini” trade offer is off the table. Frankly, I'm not interested anyway. She's a bookend to Dez and we can really build a pod around her, bikini or not. You mention that you'll cover something about Lesley on the 415 pod? Last I checked, 212 has her rights and she's not for sale. Reminder, you can't say more that a couple words about the girls who you don't draft. THAT BEING SAID, 212 is staring at Daniella as one of our top 2-3 "best available" here on the board. Adam Schefter just tweeted that 415 is dying to get her on their pod. How bad do you want my #3 pick for your girl Daniella?
Pick #6, Team 212 ***Traded to Team 415****
Brendan: [Looks around for mole in draft room]
Daniella aka Bin 38. Kudos to you for knowing our team's weakness. You could hear the collective sigh from the 415 Faithful if we didn't get her. We'll give you picks 7 and 11 and throw in compensatory pick to be named later and the rights to Bison Dele for the sixth pick (Bin 38) and pick 12. You talk about high potential for some boozy rambling and foot in mouth moments, look no further than Bin 38. I swear she is going to demand a cup holder for her chair. She already provided an impressive Chris Harrison impersonation, now she's going to go full Kathie Lee.
She's the bassist in our band, dare I say Tina Weymouth of Talking Heads reincarnated? Unappreciated, but kept everything in rhythm with moments of emotion and hilarity.
Also buying her odds at 2 to 1 for an up-skirt moment.
Pick #7 and #8, Team 212 ***Per Trade***
Kevin: [frantically typing as fast as possible]
DEAL.
212 takes Selma and Kacie B.
[Tiger Woods fist pump] [catches breath]
This is an absolute haul for 212. In a top-heavy draft I think we just traded a sure-fire solid second-tier talent with limited upside (Andy Dalton) for the last two remaining first-tier-or-bust potentials (Kaep/Brady or Mallett?). Selma will either be openly and aggressively campaigning for a spot on Bachelor Pad or wearing a burqa. Kacie B will either be a camera hog because she thinks she has a shot at love on the Bachelorette next season (she doesn't) or will be in Tennessee eating a gallon of Ben & Jerry's. At this stage in the draft, we need to get to the plate and take some at-bats. Their collective upside is just too great to not make that trade.
Brendan: Devin and I are going to have a real Hatfields and McCoys situation over missing out on Kacie B. Watch out for friendly fire on Union St. I really like both of those high ceiling picks. Reading the tea leaves (aka tabloids) it looks like Selma has gone down the rabbit hole of D list reality celebrity. You then have the veteran presence of Kacie B who can't help but stick her finger into each and every spat and light socket, judging by that hair...
Pick #9, Team 415
Brendan: First sleeper pick is coming in at #9. Robyn. She was the first one to openly go after Tierra and I expect more of the same on WTA, so we get a nice one-two combo here with our picks.
Also, is she the long lost sista of En Vogue? She could rock a sweet leather baseball hat and earpiece mic set for my band any day.
Kevin: Another value pick for 415. You know she'll get camera time because she talked a mess about Tierra on the way out. However all the "do you like black chicks" stuff might get swept under the rug for the mega superficial camp firey WTA episode. All Time Q Chris Harrison is a cagey Hollywood vet and he knows better than to confront serious societal issues in WTA.
Pick #10 and #11 ***Per Trade***
Kevin: With 212's next set of back to back picks, we select a regular model and a fit model. Welcome to the squad, Kristy and Amanda. A couple of relatively predictable babes to compliment the volatility of the rest of the squad. I doubt either of them goes comment-less and I see a bit of camera time upside for both: Kristy is hot and charismatic and determined to get the F out of Milwaukee, whether its through Bachelor Pad or by furthering her modeling career in LA.... or by (hopefully) "paying for college" by getting a well-paying, fun job in LA that lets her really express herself, ya know? Amanda is a cold-blooded assassin who could have been a lightning rod/contender for another few weeks if she actually liked Sean. She either sits there looking bored to death or comes out guns blazing defending herself and the way the camera/producers/other girls/society at large portrayed her.
Brendan: Wow, I am shocked that you are taking a pass on YOUR GIRL "Lisa" Leslie for the dud, albeit best dressed, Amanda. Her soulless body was never in it from the get-go. High no-show potential there. You're making up for it with the Kristy pick. I really thought she was going to be the AshLee of the show. Hangs around on good looks, conservative game plan, then makes a late emotional push into the Fantasy Suites.
Picks #12 and #13 ***Per Trade***
Brendan: With our set of back-to-back picks, we are taking Ashley P aka 69 Shades of Grey and "Lisa" Leslie. Ashley has a high no-show potential as she could very well be a bottle of gewurztraminer deep in her bathtub at the Marriott, reading you-know-what and doing you-know-what. But if she shows up? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. All I want to know from Leslie is a) why she gave back the necklace from the one-on-one and b) if she can be a back up singer/dancer in my band.
Oh and keeping with my band theme: Ashley P is definitely that artist in the Heal The World studio recording with no headset, visibly drunk, hogging someone else’s mic, and singing way too loud.
Kevin: On my Big Board, Lisa Leslie was the last quality pick before we get into the Hail Marys. But 212 covered Lisa Leslie at length in a previous pod, so we decided to let her walk in free agency. Seems like 415 scouts did their homework, went to some pro days, studied tape and may have caught a Jason Taylor in the middle rounds with Ashley P aka #69SoG. Who knows if she's alive or out of prison, but if she is, could be a nice pickup.
Pick #14, Team 212
Kevin:Jackie. It's no secret that I like Jackie. She was one of my sleepers early on and I think she got hosed in her two-on-one with Tierra. I think the other gals liked her, and this could be the Tierra conversation starter for All Time Q Chris Harrison: [watches "Tierra sucks" montage] "Girls, I'd be hard pressed to find one of you that didn't feel slighted by Tierra this season [pause] But Jackie [clasps hands slowly], you were the first contestant to go head-to-head with our most controversial contestant EVER. How was that for you?"
Brendan: We have officially reached the bottom of the barrel with the Jackie pick. I am an admitted lover of all things red-headed, and I like the value pick here. She should have a moment of ganging up with Robyn and Lesley to go after Tierra.
Pick #15, Team 415
Brendan: 415 takes Katie, the yoga instructor from Woodstock, IN. Reason being she's going to have as bad of a hair job as Kacie B and we need someone to make fun of to make ourselves feel better. I'll feed her hippy #vibes and give her the tambourine for our band.
Pick #16, Team 212
Kevin: F it. Gimme Ashley H because you have the other two Ashley/AshLees. No way she shows up.
I will now exercise my compensatory pick from our blockbuster trade. I select the first (if any) special guest. High bust potential here. I think we had JP and the other Ashley H at a previous "Tell All" right? I'm just throwing Hail Marys at this stage.
Brendan: Savvy GM move taking your mystery guest pick right there. My guess is it's going to be Sean’s sister Shay. She was on the show to help Sean essentially chuck Tierra, so they could very well have her back to explain her rationale.
Pick #18, Team 415
Brendan: With Ms. Irrelevant, literally and figuratively, we are taking Taryn. I was admittedly pulling for this old bag from day one. Sweet, sensible, dare I say..normal? She just didn't get out there enough in front of the other girls. She had an emotional goodbye for only two nights in the "House-That-Harrison-Built," so maybe some waterworks on the WTA. Or she’s already touring with the cover band/gas tank awareness group “Wilson Fill Ups.”
Kevin: The only thing @liztomania12 wanted me to was draft her GIRL Taryn. Oops.
Final Rosters:Team 212 - Desiree, Lesley, Kacie B, Selma, Kristy, Amanda, Jackie, Ashley H, Mystery Guest Team 415 - AshLee, Tierra, Sarah, Daniella, Robyn, Ashley P, Leslie, Katie, Taryn
Be sure to tune in next week when the 415 pod covers the semi-finals in Thailand and their team's performance on the WTA. The following week, the pod returns to an undisclosed location in Gotham to put a bow on Sean's season and discuss the finale, After the Final Rose, and their half of the WTA.
Long-time listener, first-time host Brenden Wright (@the_real_borw) brings in Steph Redd (@HerroSteph) and his brother Reno Wright (@theRealReno) to recap the Hometown dates, Sean-Tells-All, and all things Bachelor.
Check it out here or on iTunes.
Bonus Content, You Guys!!:
[polldaddy poll=6912772]
[polldaddy poll=6912767]
By The Section 925 Bachelor Staff (@Section925)
Here are this week's Bachelor Power Rankings aka the Bachelor Championship Series aka the BCS. Reno Wright and Amy Mac subbing in for Andy and Liz this week. Based on our computations (individual rankings divided by five...we're not math majors here) Dez is still holding on to the lead with Lesley and Tierra's departures from the Virgin Islands being the major shake-up in the Power Rankings.
The Judges:
The Rankings…
UPDATE (10:50 AM PST): Andy and Liz made post-deadline minute selections that flip-flopped Ash.....Lee and Lindsay as two and three. Seven voters and no timelines, you guys. THERE ARE NO RULES! I REPEAT, THERE ARE NO RULES!
Enjoy the show tonight YOU GUYS!
1) Dez:
Josh (2) - My heart's wire to wire #1 my head's mystery note giver in the final episode.
Why she'll win - She is the sweetest, best looking, genuine, and most pre-Cruise Katie Holmes hottest contestant.
Why she'll lose - There is a huge Paper Tiger Potential. I'm not going to lie her brother single-handedly dropped her to number two after last week's "Next Week On..." Unless she is either punking the Factory Girl or Sean and Dez's brother Bro hug it out, Dez is in deep deep trouble.
Amy (1) Total package for Sean. She's outgoing, independent, family-oriented and just adorable. Oh and remember the Rachel haircut??...be on the look out for Dez bangs #trendsetter #bangin
Devin (2)
Need I say More?
Kevin (1) Anybody who dropped her down from 1 after last week probably voted for Karl Malone as 1997 NBA MVP over MJ. She remains my top seed despite the red flags that her weird brother wants to kill Sean. Dance with the one that brung you. I still think that she owns Sean and he eats out of the palm of her hand. However, Sean is all about family (#romoidolizedfavre), so this could be the end of the road for my wire-to-wire top seed.
PS I didn’t want to factor this into my ranking because it’s just a hunch, but does anybody else notice that Dez may be moving in the wrong direction on the “Here for Sean <–> Here for Roses” spectrum?? A small part of me is terrified that she’s #H4TWR. Garth, that was a haiku.
Kelly (3) As previously mentioned, the production-cut fight scene that will almost surely be nothing like what I hope it is like in my mind will be the nail in her pretty coffin. Although as a very wise sister of mine, and wife to Andy pointed out... This could be Dez's family's response for Sean's love of pranks and be a "see how he reacts" situation. (Good call, sis). Only time will tell...
Liz (3) Desiree is like Minnie Mouse: she's cute she's fun she's always smiling she does things like drink goat's milk. But for whatever reason, Sean doesn't seem to be particularly interested in her. Plus her brother is gonna go 8 Mile on Sean's ass tonight which I am SO EXCITED FOR!
Andy (2) Her hometown is the only reason i will probably watch tonight. hoping for a trailer, or shitty apartment. best case scenario, producers put her fam in a middle class home and fill it full of factory girl furniture. then the factory girl remarks about the furniture, sending the Pinasco house into hysteria.
2) Lindsay:
Josh (1) Last week I said it was make or break for Lindsay and did she ever make it. Not only did she get the group date rose and first pass into Hometowns but she took the inside track to Sean's heart err winning an artificial dating show.
Why she'll win - Don't take her Midwestern-ness for granted. She hits on a few huge Factory Girl categories 1) Family Oriented 2) Good Person 3) Not a Mensa Candidate 4) Super Horny. Ok the last one was fake but you know what I'm saying.
Why she'll lose - Somewhere in the back of the Factory Girl's mind he still remembers her gimmick intro in the brides dress. Combo that with her dad that is a General and that they have not had a substantive conversation the enitre show and it could snowball into a rose-less ending for Lindsay.
Amy (3) Quirky, down to earth, oh and she has Sean giddy & giggly. We're just not seeing a lot of depth here, even if she uses "adolescent" to describe her tween years. But dangit, I do have to give her props for turning a drunken wedding dress first night meltdown into a Final Four run...gives all us train wrecks hope.
Devin (3) Weird, cute, funny, rockin bod, teacher. Girl has got it all. But she might be a little too goofy for Sean. Something tells me she has some weird issue that hasn't surfaced yet that will effect her "relationship" with Sean. What that is, I don't know. My guesses: She has a weird thing for clowns. Was a twin but absorbed her brother and now thinks she is a man sometimes. LOVES cats. like REALLY LOVES cats. Is a sexy Russian spy. These are just my guesses and or fantasies.
Kevin (4) Even though Lesley clearly dug her own grave last week, I still harbor misguided resentment toward Lindsay for getting “Lesley’s” rose. I’m crushed. I don’t care how friendly, bubbly or fun she appears, I hate her guts for sending Lesley home. Seriously though, she’s been playing with house money for a good 3-4 weeks. Chucked.
Kelly (1) For sure taking home the gold. Just look at her competition. I'd like to say its because she is the best candidate, but it may just be the "best of what's left" sort of thing. It adds up, Texan + General's daughter = holy southern matrimony.
Liz (1) Sean says "no" to good decisions + intuition + logic and "yes" to Lindsay. Like Kim Kardashian in life, Lindsay has absolutely no reason to be where she is. And tonight Sean will ask her father for his permission to propose. That shit cray.
Andy (1) She is hot, she is dumb, America (I still have love for my nation) is strong with her.
3) AshLee:
Josh (3) AKA "The Manifesto" (If she becomes a WWE Diva that has to be her name. She could have great Ultimate Warrior-esque non-sequitor rants that are eerily intense and uncomfortable) - A...L creeped her way into Hometowns and the only reason I can see why is that she is somewhat attractive (I don't see it...SHE IS A STALKER).
Why she'll win - She manipulates Sean to the point that he has no idea that she is going to murder him until it is too late.
Why she'll lose - Say what you will about the Factory Girl, he does have a pretty good Spidey-sense about weirdos and The Manifesto can't hide behind Tierra's antics anymore.
Amy (2) Sweet. Sean likes to be a man and take care of his woman, and Ashlee fits that to a tee. I worry we are missing something though... Sweet orphan with a...boob job??...we're definitely not getting the whole story here (Maybe a Daddy Warbucks in the picture???)
Devin (1) I think Sean digs the so called coug (Can I call a 32 year old a coug when I'm 30?). Though her boobs are set wider than the Grand Canyon, I think her and Sean are both looking for the same thing. She wants a husband to take care of and not have to work (I mean she's a personal organizer, whatever the fuck that is), and Sean wants someone to take care of him (I think he has mommy issues). Plus they are both from Texas, and Texans are weird and only like each other because no one else likes them.
Kevin (3) Really liked her boat date. Really liked it. It had all the elements: spontaneity, serious discussions, family talk, relationship progress and the L bomb. She’s opening up more and more every week and Sean is really into it, as are my co-rankers. I like her. I’m pulling for her. THAT BEING SAID. I think she’s waaaay too intense for Sean. Once the honeymoon phase is over and she gets back to being a Type-A personal organizer (worth repeating: personal organizer), this one will be toast. Having been on the show already, Sean should be able to spot the “vacation relationships.” Dude had a front row seat as Arie almost took down Emily with that “look how carefree and chill I am because I’m on an all-expense paid vacation” bullcrap.
Kelly (2) So help me if she doesn't have some crazy eyes. I, for one, am very excited to see her parents, it may give us some insight as to why she has a hint o' crazy. She'll make it to the final 2 because Dez's family will count her out and Catherine just wants to go play with Leslie.
Liz (3) Oh golly AshLee we were so close! We were headed to the top together! You with your fake boobs and eye on the prize, me fingers-crossed that your age, errr, life experience gave you the wisdom to chill-the-fuck-out. But last week you walked too close to the fire and we're too late in the game now. I hope they held your job back in Texas for you ... at The Container Store.
Andy (4) Looking for a hometown that is "hoarders" in a parallel universe.
4) Catherine:
Josh (4) To answer your question BBLT, I have no idea what he sees in you because Lesley obvious was a better choice. On a side note, Lesley played her last episode as if she was Leslie Frazier and he punted on 4th and 1 on the opponent's 45 with Adrian Peterson at full health. How do you not drop an I love you? Too cool for school only works for the Fonz, Lesley. See you on the Bachelorette!
Why she'll win - She is the most normal, has a legitimate career, and probably could have an intelligent conversation about something important.
Why she'll lose - Remember when Myron Rolle from Florida State earned a Rhode's Scholarship and NFL scouts made arguments that he wasn't a good pick because he wasn't focused on or dedicated to football? That's Catherine, she isn't focused solely on the Factory Girl, she is living her life to the fullest and taking advantage of trips around the world and Sean will see that.
Amy (4). Seattle, graphic designer, personal triumphs...Love her. Everything about her. She's got that geek chic thing going on. Unfortunately I just haven't seen much chemistry with her and Sean. Shame on you Sean. That being said, she will be the next bachelorette. Sexy nerd power!
Devin (4). I just don't get it. Is she cute? Is she funny? Is she cool. I just..I don't know. Plus I hate the Seahawks, and she is from Seattle
Kevin (2) Next man up. She was my #3 last week behind Dez and Lesley. Dez took care of business. Lesley read her press clippings, got comfortable, googled Neil Lane and sleep walked (slept walked?) through her stupid 5-minute fruit picking date on her way back to Capitol Hill. Catherine somehow remains an underdog among my other columnists despite doing everything right. Literally everything. I agree with Amy Mac’s assessment, just not her conclusion. Maybe I’m giving Sean more credit than he deserves, but I think all those positives will carry her through to the finale.
Kelly (4) I mean, let's be real. Leslie went home and now she's a lost little puppy who can't have fun chasing a boy if her bestie isn't chasing the same one. I'm impressed she made it this far, a great run if you ask me. ANYWAY, Let the hometown dates begin. Over/under on an official army ceremony with Lindsay? I'm going with yes. For sure. The least they can do is show off the fort. A solid 'hail' to welcome and 'farewell' upon departure (wink, Josh). Will he be presented with a coin? Will his dad show him his weapons... Or better yet, the arms room(s)? Will he say "I've got a 45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody will miss you"? I can't wait!
Liz (4) Catherine. Wah wah. You raised the Bachelor Iron Curtain last week in a raw confession that, "Lesley has more in common with Sean than I do," which, on the micro scale, boots your ass the to curb, and the macro scale, reveals that even Hometown Finalists ... might ... not ... be ... #H4TWR. Da da daaaaa!!!!
Andy (3) South Pacific (formerly BBLT) = Sleeper
By Kevin (@kpluswax)
After last week's action-packed double episode, and with hometown dates just 2 weeks away, we corralled an expert panel of 5 judges to provide their current power rankings on this, the 17th season of "The Bachelor". Using advanced big data/Moneyballish analytics (read: simple averages), we calculated our proprietary Section 925 Composite Power Rankings (#Sec925CPR). Each judge was asked to rank the gals using arbitrary criteria. (Note: judges' rankings are in parentheses next to their names)
The Judges:
The Rankings...
1) Lesley
Lesley is really starting to fall for
traveling all around the world for free with a bunch of new friends
Sean. She's definitely falling for Sean.
Kevin (2): Tough facade but might just be, dare I say, falling for this guy. I maintain that she will have a tough time when claws start to come out.
Josh (2): Clowny make-up aside, she had just enough clinginess during the Arctic Splash group date to make me feel weirded-out, but confident since she got a rose. Strong move by dropping "I think I'm falling for you."
Andy (2): Don't sleep on a girl that is strategic and conniving for a living. I feel like she will go the way of Bush's reputation by instigating the whole War on Tierra-ism. Tierra is a weapon of massive relationship destruction (WMRD), but who cares. Don't be a hero, Lesley. Stick to policy and the policy is [edit: "make out with"] The Factory Girl.
Kelly (1): She. Could. Go. All. The. Way. Like seriously, fantasy suite style. But I think she gets the gold.
Liz (2): Long Kiss Short Dress holding her own w/o talking ish to Sean about the other girls (Desiree's kryptonight last episode, more on that on the pod next week). I also think she has the political 'Marathon-not-a-sprint' strategy wherein she will conceal her crazy down the homestretch.
2) Desiree
Kevin (1): Dez is in the driver’s seat. Absolutely owns Sean. There have to be skeletons lurking in hometowns, right? Right?
Josh (1): Three power moves last week: 1) Tree climbing; 2) Opening up in the TeePee; and 3) This first "fill in the blank is like a relationship" quote of the season after rappelling down the mountain.
Andy (1): Is The Factory Girl old enough to remember Dawson and Joey? Doesn't he know how the girl/buddy turns out? She fucks Pacey. Run now, Factory Girl. A dark side of my superego wants her to make to Hometowns so that we can experience the first "poor" family on the show and a look inside of either her family trailer, or (fingers crossed) a tent.
Kelly (5): The reason is simple: I like her. She seems real and I wish better things for her than to have to have an ugly cry on national television after she is sent packing on a date somewhere learning how to play a steel pan.
Liz (3): Gonna make a strong run for a metal - and still my best outfit of the season in the floor-length, red lace on the premiere - but just like Ryan Lochte in London, there is some key ingredient missing. It's just not her time, and dare I say it, she's the eensy-weensy-est bit immature.
3) Tierra
Kevin (6): Child please. It's not like she's that hot. I get Courtney. I don't get Tierra. Here for the wrong reasons. #H4TWR.
Josh (4): Trending down. I think she stumbles this week or the next and misses Hometowns. She is trying to run the "Courtney" gimmick offense but she just isn't as skilled as the Female Black Mamba aka Bachelor Kobe.
Andy (3): My personal favorite, but like JP Fresh says, trending down. My money is on her to go to Hometowns and produce the clingy recovering drug/alcohol boyfriend to challenge The Factory Girl for her hand. Also, she is the only girl in history of the Bachelor to not only eat on camera, but to do so in consecutive episodes. Mad respect for that, way to be such a role model.
Kelly (2): Because why not. He has a penis, right? I predict final 2, leaves him with the note as per in the previews
Liz (6): Tierrable. Period.
4) Ash..............Lee
Kevin (5): Outside looking in on hometown dates with 2 weeks remaining. Try smiling once or twice a week. The Actually-Homeless Homeless-Man’s-Giselle needs to step up in the charisma department.
Josh (6): 50 shades of HEEEEY. She is too weird (personal organizer, control freak) and just not hot enough to make it to Hometowns.
Andy (5): Not much to say other than she is "Erin from the Office" fucked in the head. To much mental baggage. Get out of here, Sean.
Kelly (4): Just enough crazy to keep him holding on. Plus he won’t let her go until he can meet her angel adoptive parents. Because he's not a monster.
Liz (1): Although she disappointed me at the theme park (see inaugural Section 925 Bachelor Pod), she seems to be aware of a lesser known fact that may just be enough to catapult her to Happily Ever After: men love compliments and you've gotta put yourself out there. She also weirdly seems to have it together (connection to being a professional organizer)
5) Catherine:
Kevin (3): In my view, best, most authentic, enjoyable, fun date of the season. Electricity is palpable. Cat needs to turn up sex appeal/family values to get out of fun/flirt zone. If I was Sean’s boy in real life (like Arie, for example), I would advise him to think long and hard before chucking this one.
Josh (5): Best outside shot to get to Hometowns. I felt like the blizzard date was good but I also feel like that could be producer voodoo. That being said, Cat is probably the most normal and stable so that does not bode well for her.
Andy (6): I think everything with her is producer voodoo magic. She did have a crazy story about a tree falling on a friend, but I don't think that will be enough. I say she is gone next episode.
Kelly (3): I think she has the perfect amount of silly with "exotic look." That being said, he will eventually move back to Dallas and she just wouldn't cut it there.
Liz (4): Sean likes her. But she is like the person you date in high school because all of a sudden you can drive and go to parties and omigod someone has a fake ID! And then all of a sudden that has lost its luster and you realize you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON
6) Lindsay
Kevin (4): Sleeper hype last week (Wait, was that just in my own head? Who cares) was getting a little too bandwagony this week. Cinderella could be turning into pumpkin. Need some substance, Substitute.
Josh (3): I am on the bandwagon. Remember Sean is from Texas and she is from a military family, so we know the USA factor is strong. I am weary about the “I'm not going to kiss you” scene however. She needs a strong episode Monday to stay here.
Andy (4): She is my dark horse. She has spent no time in the gossip, and is just simple enough to match cognitive level with Sean. I want to pick her for the win, but I still have reservations. Fuck it, she is my pick for the win. She will knock out Dez in the final two with no problem. By then Dez will be too addled with the mental fortitude it has taken to get this far, and the Substitute hasn't used any mental function, hence she will be as fresh as a spring mornin' (country inflection).
Kelly (6): Ugh, Army Bratz. My feelings on our time in the Army aside, she's a horn dog. And Sean doesn't want to have to deal with the whole "she's my daughter and if you ever hurt I'll cut you with this here bayonet that was issued to me because I'm General Yenter and I'm important" shpeal. All she wants to do is make out and she knows her time is short. Get that lovin' while you can, sista, you'll be heading back to Leonard Wood soon enough.
Liz (5): Sean's no rocket scientist but I think he wants his progeny to have at least a couple brain cells between the ears
Dead Last) The Lifeguard
...Chime in with a comment below. You won't.
