Bachelor Power Rankings: "Hometowns Edition"

By The Section 925 Bachelor Staff (@Section925)

Here are this week's Bachelor Power Rankings aka the Bachelor Championship Series aka the BCS. Reno Wright and Amy Mac subbing in for Andy and Liz this week. Based on our computations (individual rankings divided by five...we're not math majors here) Dez is still holding on to the lead with Lesley and Tierra's departures from the Virgin Islands being the major shake-up in the Power Rankings.

The Judges:

• Kelly (@kellyliz1321): Gets hair did by Dez’s bestie
• Liz (@Liztomania12): 925 native, Section 925 pod guest, Ph.D in Fashion Analysis from Syracuse University. Currently resides in NYC
• Josh (@jphunsucker): 925 native, law student, hardcore Bach fan, #49erFaithful
• Andy (@brewery33): Law student, part-time-micro-brewer, full-time Bachelor conspiracy theorist, voice of reason
• Kevin (@kpluswax): 925 native, does pods sometimes…or whatever
• Devin(@TheRealReno): Volume shooter on the Twitter feed every Monday night.
• Amy Mac(@tweetamymac): Head of marketing for one of the Bay Area's most famous teams.

The Rankings…

UPDATE (10:50 AM PST): Andy and Liz made post-deadline minute selections that flip-flopped Ash.....Lee and Lindsay as two and three. Seven voters and no timelines, you guys. THERE ARE NO RULES! I REPEAT, THERE ARE NO RULES!

Enjoy the show tonight YOU GUYS!

1) Dez:

Josh (2) - My heart's wire to wire #1 my head's mystery note giver in the final episode.

Why she'll win - She is the sweetest, best looking, genuine, and most pre-Cruise Katie Holmes hottest contestant.

Why she'll lose - There is a huge Paper Tiger Potential. I'm not going to lie her brother single-handedly dropped her to number two after last week's "Next Week On..." Unless she is either punking the Factory Girl or Sean and Dez's brother Bro hug it out, Dez is in deep deep trouble.

Amy (1) Total package for Sean. She's outgoing, independent, family-oriented and just adorable. Oh and remember the Rachel haircut??...be on the look out for Dez bangs #trendsetter #bangin

Devin (2)

Need I say More?

Kevin (1) Anybody who dropped her down from 1 after last week probably voted for Karl Malone as 1997 NBA MVP over MJ.  She remains my top seed despite the red flags that her weird brother wants to kill Sean.  Dance with the one that brung you.  I still think that she owns Sean and he eats out of the palm of her hand.  However, Sean is all about family (#romoidolizedfavre), so this could be the end of the road for my wire-to-wire top seed.

PS I didn’t want to factor this into my ranking because it’s just a hunch, but does anybody else notice that Dez may be moving in the wrong direction on the “Here for Sean <–> Here for Roses” spectrum??  A small part of me is terrified that she’s #H4TWR.  Garth, that was a haiku.

Kelly (3) As previously mentioned, the production-cut fight scene that will almost surely be nothing like what I hope it is like in my mind will be the nail in her pretty coffin. Although as a very wise sister of mine, and wife to Andy pointed out... This could be Dez's family's response for Sean's love of pranks and be a "see how he reacts" situation. (Good call, sis). Only time will tell...

Liz (3) Desiree is like Minnie Mouse: she's cute she's fun she's always smiling she does things like drink goat's milk.  But for whatever reason, Sean doesn't seem to be particularly interested in her.  Plus her brother is gonna go 8 Mile on Sean's ass tonight which I am SO EXCITED FOR!

Andy (2) Her hometown is the only reason i will probably watch tonight. hoping for a trailer, or shitty apartment. best case scenario, producers put her fam in a middle class home and fill it full of factory girl furniture. then the factory girl remarks about the furniture, sending the Pinasco house into hysteria.

2) Lindsay:

Josh (1) Last week I said it was make or break for Lindsay and did she ever make it. Not only did she get the group date rose and first pass into Hometowns but she took the inside track to Sean's heart err winning an artificial dating show.

Why she'll win - Don't take her Midwestern-ness for granted. She hits on a few huge Factory Girl categories 1) Family Oriented 2) Good Person 3) Not a Mensa Candidate 4) Super Horny. Ok the last one was fake but you know what I'm saying.

Why she'll lose - Somewhere in the back of the Factory Girl's mind he still remembers her gimmick intro in the brides dress. Combo that with her dad that is a General and that they have not had a substantive conversation the enitre show and it could snowball into a rose-less ending for Lindsay.

Amy (3) Quirky, down to earth, oh and she has Sean giddy & giggly. We're just not seeing a lot of depth here, even if she uses "adolescent" to describe her tween years. But dangit, I do have to give her props for turning a drunken wedding dress first night meltdown into a Final Four run...gives all us train wrecks hope.

Devin (3) Weird, cute, funny, rockin bod, teacher. Girl has got it all. But she might be a little too goofy for Sean. Something tells me she has some weird issue that hasn't surfaced yet that will effect her "relationship" with Sean. What that is, I don't know. My guesses: She has a weird thing for clowns. Was a twin but absorbed her brother and now thinks she is a man sometimes. LOVES cats. like REALLY LOVES cats. Is a sexy Russian spy. These are just my guesses and or fantasies.

Kevin (4) Even though Lesley clearly dug her own grave last week, I still harbor misguided resentment toward Lindsay for getting “Lesley’s” rose.  I’m crushed.  I don’t care how friendly, bubbly or fun she appears, I hate her guts for sending Lesley home.  Seriously though, she’s been playing with house money for a good 3-4 weeks.  Chucked.

Kelly (1) For sure taking home the gold. Just look at her competition. I'd like to say its because she is the best candidate, but it may just be the "best of what's left" sort of thing. It adds up, Texan + General's daughter = holy southern matrimony.

Liz (1) Sean says "no" to good decisions + intuition + logic and "yes" to Lindsay.  Like Kim Kardashian in life, Lindsay has absolutely no reason to be where she is. And tonight Sean will ask her father for his permission to propose.  That shit cray.

Andy (1) She is hot, she is dumb, America (I still have love for my nation) is strong with her.

3) AshLee:

Josh (3) AKA "The Manifesto" (If she becomes a WWE Diva that has to be her name. She could have great Ultimate Warrior-esque non-sequitor rants that are eerily intense and uncomfortable) - A...L creeped her way into Hometowns and the only reason I can see why is that she is somewhat attractive (I don't see it...SHE IS A STALKER).

Why she'll win - She manipulates Sean to the point that he has no idea that she is going to murder him until it is too late.

Why she'll lose - Say what you will about the Factory Girl, he does have a pretty good Spidey-sense about weirdos and The Manifesto can't hide behind Tierra's antics anymore.

Amy (2) Sweet. Sean likes to be a man and take care of his woman, and Ashlee fits that to a tee. I worry we are missing something though... Sweet orphan with a...boob job??...we're definitely not getting the whole story here (Maybe a Daddy Warbucks in the picture???)

Devin (1) I think Sean digs the so called coug (Can I call a 32 year old a coug when I'm 30?). Though her boobs are set wider than the Grand Canyon, I think her and Sean are both looking for the same thing. She wants a husband to take care of and not have to work (I mean she's a personal organizer, whatever the fuck that is), and Sean wants someone to take care of him (I think he has mommy issues). Plus they are both from Texas, and Texans are weird and only like each other because no one else likes them.

Kevin (3) Really liked her boat date.  Really liked it.  It had all the elements: spontaneity, serious discussions, family talk, relationship progress and the L bomb.  She’s opening up more and more every week and Sean is really into it, as are my co-rankers.  I like her.   I’m pulling for her.  THAT BEING SAID.  I think she’s waaaay too intense for Sean.  Once the honeymoon phase is over and she gets back to being a Type-A personal organizer (worth repeating: personal organizer), this one will be toast.  Having been on the show already, Sean should be able to spot the “vacation relationships.”  Dude had a front row seat as Arie almost took down Emily with that “look how carefree and chill I am because I’m on an all-expense paid vacation” bullcrap.

Kelly (2) So help me if she doesn't have some crazy eyes. I, for one, am very excited to see her parents, it may give us some insight as to why she has a hint o' crazy. She'll make it to the final 2 because Dez's family will count her out and Catherine just wants to go play with Leslie.

Liz (3) Oh golly AshLee we were so close! We were headed to the top together!  You with your fake boobs and eye on the prize, me fingers-crossed that your age, errr, life experience gave you the wisdom to chill-the-fuck-out.  But last week you walked too close to the fire and we're too late in the game now.  I hope they held your job back in Texas for you ... at The Container Store.

Andy (4) Looking for a hometown that is "hoarders" in a parallel universe.

4) Catherine:

Josh (4) To answer your question BBLT, I have no idea what he sees in you because Lesley obvious was a better choice. On a side note, Lesley played her last episode as if she was Leslie Frazier and he punted on 4th and 1 on the opponent's 45 with Adrian Peterson at full health. How do you not drop an I love you? Too cool for school only works for the Fonz, Lesley. See you on the Bachelorette!

Why she'll win - She is the most normal, has a legitimate career, and probably could have an intelligent conversation about something important.

Why she'll lose - Remember when Myron Rolle from Florida State earned a Rhode's Scholarship and NFL scouts made arguments that he wasn't a good pick because he wasn't focused on or dedicated to football? That's Catherine, she isn't focused solely on the Factory Girl, she is living her life to the fullest and taking advantage of trips around the world and Sean will see that.

Amy (4). Seattle, graphic designer, personal triumphs...Love her. Everything about her. She's got that geek chic thing going on. Unfortunately I just haven't seen much chemistry with her and Sean. Shame on you Sean. That being said, she will be the next bachelorette. Sexy nerd power!

Devin (4). I just don't get it. Is she cute? Is she funny? Is she cool. I just..I don't know. Plus I hate the Seahawks, and she is from Seattle

Kevin (2) Next man up.  She was my #3 last week behind Dez and Lesley.  Dez took care of business.  Lesley read her press clippings, got comfortable, googled Neil Lane and sleep walked (slept walked?) through her stupid 5-minute fruit picking date on her way back to Capitol Hill.  Catherine somehow remains an underdog among my other columnists despite doing everything right.  Literally everything.  I agree with Amy Mac’s assessment, just not her conclusion.  Maybe I’m giving Sean more credit than he deserves, but I think all those positives will carry her through to the finale.

Kelly (4) I mean, let's be real. Leslie went home and now she's a lost little puppy who can't have fun chasing a boy if her bestie isn't chasing the same one. I'm impressed she made it this far, a great run if you ask me. ANYWAY, Let the hometown dates begin. Over/under on an official army ceremony with Lindsay? I'm going with yes. For sure. The least they can do is show off the fort. A solid 'hail' to welcome and 'farewell' upon departure (wink, Josh). Will he be presented with a coin? Will his dad show him his weapons... Or better yet, the arms room(s)? Will he say "I've got a 45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody will miss you"? I can't wait!

Liz (4) Catherine.  Wah wah.  You raised the Bachelor Iron Curtain last week in a raw confession that, "Lesley has more in common with Sean than I do," which, on the micro scale, boots your ass the to curb, and the macro scale, reveals that even Hometown Finalists ... might ... not ... be ... #H4TWR.  Da da daaaaa!!!!

Andy (3) South Pacific (formerly BBLT) = Sleeper